Potty training 101

Few aspects of parenting generate more barrages of advice than potty training.

There are the issues of when to start training, how to go about doing it, how long it takes, what latest gadgets work and which don’t, and the ramifications of doing it “wrong.” For every parent of a toddler, potty training becomes the focus in the second year.

Patrick and Tracey Johnston are going through this process with their son Timothy. The Steilacoom family has already gone through it once with their older son Isaac. The first child didn’t prove to be a template for the second.

“I definitely have, make that had, expectations,” Tracey Johnston said. “With Isaac, I could tell when he was going to poop, so I would put him on the potty, read to him, and within a few minutes, we would have success. He would get a star on the ‘poop chart’ and a treat (usually M&Ms). This worked well for him. Isaac also started waking up dry on his own, so we didn’t have any issues with the bed. He just didn’t like the change in his routine that I made him use the bathroom right when he woke up. That was a big fight.”

Timothy on the other hand can sit on the toilet and say that he is “done” without actually going to the bathroom.

“He can totally wait me out,” she said. “Forty five minutes later, I give up, put the diaper or training pants on, and within 10 or 15 minutes, he runs up to me and says, all proud and smiley, ‘Mommy, I pooped! Can I have a treat?’”

Treats or star motivators mean nothing to him.

Their story is not unusual, thus the baby industry that thrives on the struggles some parents face with potty training.

There are programs that swear to bring babies from diapers to underwear in just two days, while other methods suggest the process takes time and dedication.

The basic premise behind the quick-and-easy methods often focus on parents reading the nuance changes in their children’s face and body motions that suggest pressure is building and potty calls are on their way. Whether it’s a smile or a frown or even a curious look, attentive parents will be able to correctly read their children and rush them to the bathroom in time. Once this process has repeated itself successfully over several days, the child will make the connection between the stomach feelings that cause their smiles with the act of going to the bathroom. They will then replay the action themselves, so the theory goes.

Other methods suggest that potty training should be driven by the child and that coaxing the issue with the constant oversight brought by the quick-fix programs do more harm than good. The pressure for success, so the idea goes, can cause sleep issues and a host of other troubles.

The key then is to not start the process until parents and the child are ready. That can depend on temperaments, attitudes, and practicality. Parents are ready when they can devote the time and energy to the training and the children are ready when they show an interest in the process. Most baby experts put this at about the time children are between 18 months and two years old, but some children might be ready earlier. Others might be older before they show signs of being ready to shed their diapers.

Get children involved in the process by getting them comfortable in the bathroom. Parents should allow their children to see how the whole process works from start to finish and even let them play with flushing the toilet so the whole idea is not foreign to them.

Pint sized potty chairs then give them a baby version of what they see their parents sitting on, thus making that connection between relieved bowels and the chair.

Parents can then place their child on the potty chair whenever they signal the need to go to the bathroom, staying with them during the process.

And praise always helps.