Is your child really ready for preschool?

As your child approaches his third or fourth birthday you’re probably thinking about sending him off to school. After all, he loves to draw, plays well with his peers, and can sing the ABC song, even if his pronunciation is a bit comical. And he’s certainly old enough.

Many public school districts now offer programs for four-year-olds. Some churches and other private schools accept children as young as three. However, the question you have to ask yourself is, “Is my child really ready for preschool?” At this stage there are many factors to consider besides age, eagerness, and an ability to recite the alphabet.

This particular age group is fascinating, frustrating, and just plain fun to be around. However, each year there are children in school who are not ready for school. They may need more time to mature, more experience, more discipline, and more structure at home. Whatever the reason, they are not ready to function in a community of fifteen to nineteen other preschoolers, follow instructions, learn new skills and concepts, and be responsible for some of their own needs.

As a teacher, here are some factors I wish more parents would consider before entering their child into a preschool program:

Maturity. This goes beyond your child’s age and whether the child fits the school’s criteria. Many districts require a child to be four before September 1. However, there is a tremendous difference between a child who turns four in May and one who turns four on August 30. There is often a difference in maturity between a girl and boy of the same age, or a youngest child and an oldest. Is your child confident and willing to try new things? Is he able to speak to other adults with your approval? Can he express his needs and desires? Can he separate from you, in a safe environment, without undue anxiety?

Social skills. Children in preschool programs must function within a group. They must learn how to get along, share the teacher’s attention, communicate needs and ideas, and behave in ways that maintain the order of the group. In most schools you can’t take twenty preschoolers down the hall to the lunch room without asking them to walk in a line and refrain from poking their neighbor. Some children find group living intimidating, some thrive in a group, and others may find it stifling. Children who have experience in childcare usually transition well to preschool. But if your child has been in a small group or home situation, it may take a while for him to adjust to being one of twenty.

Independence. Most preschools require that your child be potty trained, but does your child also know how to dress and undress himself? Can he clean himself and wash his hands? Can he carry a lunch tray and feed himself? Can he manage most buttons, snaps, and zippers? Can he play independently for short periods of time? Teachers are always willing to provide assistance, but it’s unrealistic to expect one person to take care of all the personal needs of twenty children, and teach them the alphabet.

Discipline. Functioning within a group requires discipline. Most children recognize the need to share, be kind to others, and follow instructions. Most children in my classroom are well-behaved unless provoked, frustrated, or overly tired. However, each year I have at least one child who is accustomed to getting his own way, every time, no matter what. If your child still has screaming tantrums, kicks, bites, throws toys, or breaks things when he doesn’t get his way, you may want to give him more time to mature and learn other ways to resolve his problems.

Special needs. If your child has special needs because of developmental delays, physical disabilities, or health concerns such as severe asthma, that doesn’t necessarily mean he isn’t ready for preschool. However, you may want to spend some extra time exploring your options and making sure your child’s needs will be met. Remember, a “program,” no matter how developmentally appropriate and/or popular, is only as good as the person teaching it. Talk to other parents. Ask probing questions. Visit several schools. Some have wonderful facilities for special needs children and others barely meet state minimum requirements.

Shop around, even if it means postponing preschool until you find the right one, and be prepared for some transition time. Some children love school from the first day. Others adjust after a few weeks. You can usually gauge your child’s adjustment to school in relation to previous experiences such as Sunday school, daycare, or playgroups.

If your child has difficulty adjusting after a couple of months, and is still crying each day, talk to the teacher about possible solutions. Some students adjust better if they were brought to school a little late, during a favorite activity. Others make a better transition if Mom picks them up before nap for the first few weeks. You’re probably the best judge of how much change your child can handle all at once.

Your child’s first year in school should be the best. If your child is emotionally and socially mature enough for preschool, remember to keep an open dialogue with the teacher and help set a strong foundation for your child’s lifelong learning experience.

—©2006 Mary E. Maurer
Mary Maurer is a freelance writer and elementary teacher, with a B.S. in elementary education, an endorsement in early childhood education, and a Master’s degree in public school administration.