Raising charitable children

When Omar and Pam Jadue started a family nine years ago, they began teaching their children to be charity minded. But when their five-year-old son Michael was diagnosed with Leukemia, it strengthened their resolve to give.

For Karl and Linda Rein, charity-mindedness is a way of life. “Because my husband is a minister and I work for the American Cancer Society (ACS), giving has always been on the forefront of our minds,” says Linda, mother of three children.

The Jadues and the Reins are just two of many families who are passing on the benevolent torch to their children. Sharon Gothard Weisman, co-founder of SnuggL’Up Inc.—which donates pillows and proceeds from sales to underprivileged children—is another one. “Even before my boys could fully understand, I taught them the importance of helping others,” she says.

“We have always tried to make the children aware of what other people were going through,” recalls Pam, mother of four. “One year we took our children to South America where they got a glimpse of those less fortunate than themselves. My husband wanted the kids to see that there are others in need, and at the same time appreciate what they had at home.”

Charitable giving took on a new perspective during Michael’s three-and-a-half year chemo treatment. “One person after another gave gifts, cards, food, and even offered to babysit, and I made the children aware of what they were doing.”

Fortunately, parents do not have to go out of the country, experience a major family health crisis, or go into business to instill a charitable heart in their child. It can be as easy as cleaning out a closet or toy box.

“When Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast, a local school started a collection for the victims,” Sharon explains. “My sons and I went through their clothes, games, toys—anything we could find they weren’t using—and got it ready to go.”

Linda and her children do this too. Twice a year, they sort through old items to see what can be given away. “Of course, it is easier to do yourself,” she says. “But when the children are included, they are able to see how taking care of things allows them to be passed on.”

Another way to instill a charitable spirit in your child is to get him involved in service oriented projects. For the Jadues, this is a regular occurrence. Every year they participate in the Leukemia Society’s “Pennies for Patients,” and the ACS “Relay for Life.” One year, they even hosted a Christmas party for Make-a-Wish Foundation (MW) and the local cancer hospital. “The year Michael finished treatment, we wanted to give back to those organizations that had helped us,” says Pam. “We asked attendees to bring monetary donations for MW or a gift for the children in the hospital.” After the party, her own children took the gifts to the hospital.

Some were given directly to sick children. Others were handed to doctors and nurses to pass out. “The neat thing is my kids took part in the whole process—planning food, entertainment, choosing the location, making donations, and setting up and cleaning up. It was a great experience.”

The Rein family also hosted a charitable party—a birthday party which their daughter Alison shared with “Relay for Life.” “Although birthdays are a time when you are celebrating your child’s individuality and birth, it can be

used to show them they are part of a great big world that needs their help,” says Linda.

Of course, the holidays present many opportunities to teach benevolence. “For years, we have had ‘Our Kids Charity Club’—it’s a family thing,” says Sharon. “All year long the kids save their allowance and other money they earn or receive. Then we find a family or two and get a list of what their children need. I take my kids shopping and they choose gifts with their own money.”

Like Sharon, you can orchestrate your own effort or join with other organizations that are spreading good will. “Over the holidays we have participated in a giving tree at church where the kids have purchased gifts for needy children, donated hats and gloves through the school, bought food for the local food bank, and given money to different charities were collecting,” Pam says. “All you have to do is look around. There is somewhere you can help.”

Even when it isn’t holiday time, benevolence is in season. “Several times a year my husband and son go to the local rescue mission and serve meals,” says Linda. “The kids also help bake cookies to take to the Salvation Army.” Religious organizations are synonymous with charitable giving and so offer a plethora of opportunities to get involved. “Every year our synagogue has a Mitzvah Day,” Sharon explains. This a day when families can participate in one of many community service activities—donating blood, making caps for kids with cancer, creating door signs and decorations for senior homes, and cleaning up parks and schools. “It’s a good deed day. A lot of families take part in it.”

“Right after Hurricane Katrina hit, our church sponsored a 5K Race and Family Fun Walk to raise money for local charities that help with national and global crises,” Linda explains. “My kids got involved with the event—they stuffed runners’ goodie bags, put up signs, gave out water, and even helped with the awards ceremony.”

So just how have these families benefited from being charity minded? “It has made my kids more appreciative of what they have,” Pam says. “It is also made them more empathetic toward others.”

“I know I am sowing seeds now that will reap big rewards in the future,” Sharon says. “One day my kids will be adults that will go out and give to the community and the world just as they always have, and they will pass it on to their children.”

Linda will never forget the time she was preparing to go to a fundraising dinner for the Tsunami victims. “The newspaper said to bring any items that could be shipped overseas,” she recalls. “I asked my kids to go through their stuffed animals, and Alison brought down three really nice teddy bears.

Later she came to me with tears in her eyes and said, ‘Mommy, I only have three teddy bears to give away, but there are so many more children that need them.’ That’s when I knew it was all hitting home.”