Falling in love with your baby

Finally the baby is here, and his mother is falling in love. She is entranced, fascinated, and wants her baby in her arms or within reach at all times. Of course.

When do parents start to love their baby? Perhaps before the baby is conceived, when they envision a soul who will join them one day. Perhaps as the mother rests her hand on her kicking, shifting belly, her baby so close, only inches away, but still a mystery.

Perhaps the strong feelings of love, protection, and vulnerability surge shortly after birth, when parents first lock eyes with their newborn. Perhaps it takes a little longer for the connection.

But it soon becomes clear that these people belong to each other. They will share their lives through thick and thin. They are a unit, autonomous, a new family.

Sometimes we are stunned by the intensity of our love for our child. “I never knew I would feel this way,” my son said two days after his son’s birth.

“Now you know how much we love you,” I replied. It is startling to realize you would give your life for your child, without question or hesitation.

What can you do to strengthen the connection, to help your child learn to love?

Engage your baby.

Lie on your bed next to her and examine her closely. Admire the many colors of her skin, the perfection of each curled finger, the wisdom in her eyes as she gazes at you.

Touch her hair and her skin; stroke her gently with your eyes shut. Hold her close to you, sharing the air you breathe. Rest your hand on her back and feel it gently rise and fall with her breathing.

Listen to her breaths coming in and out.

Put your ear to her chest or back and listen to her heart beating.

Inhale her fragrance. Kiss her.

Talk to her. Sing to her. Rock her. Walk with her. Dance with her and keep her close. You can’t spoil her.

And take care of yourself.

Get more sleep. Set aside some responsibilities or better yet, get rid of them altogether. Lie down when the baby sleeps, for at least ten minutes. Put the baby in the stroller and take a brisk walk. Sleep. Wrap your arms around your partner and lean against him. Snooze on the couch. Eat foods that build health. Take a nap. Listen to music you love. Seek laughter. Did I mention sleep?

Revel in the honeymoon with your new baby. It will make the rest of your lives go better.