From the Editor: Parents light the way

‘Tis the season for parents to be really busy. Depending on the ages of your children and your away-from-home workload, you may be feeling overwhelmed by the “to-do” list you’ve given yourself for the holiday season.

Now is the time to take a deep breath, look at your holiday “must-dos,” and then cut the list in half!

Get your priorities straight before you plunge into a flurry of holiday activities. Discuss with your partner and extended family:

What are our expectations for happy holidays? What memories do we want to make?

Ask your children, if they’re old enough, what they like best about the holidays.

For babies, toddlers, and preschoolers, my guess is that they will want their parents to be close by, and they’ll want their usual routine—especially morning and nighttime rituals. The usual routine brings comfort and security. If you have little children, you may choose to accept no invitations or obligations that disrupt the regular routine, or you may limit such special events to one per week during December.

As you count down the days until Christmas, use an advent calendar to help little children understand the “waiting” part of this season, and to give each day a bit of sparkle. Do just one special thing each day, such as making homemade ornaments, playing favorite carols, or reading a holiday story together at bedtime.

In our family, we have two December birthdays, so we learned long ago that having a new baby in the house at Christmas was the best present imaginable. If you have a new baby, you’ve got a perfect excuse to tone things down for the sake of the newborn and the mother. Both need rest, not excitement. This postpartum adjustment period for the new family has enough excitement as it is, without adding holiday expectations! Give yourself permission to slow down and savor this special time.

Older children usually love the excitement and holiday preparations but they still need their sleep, and they will likely have school until just a few days before winter break. Make sure each day has “decompression” time built in. A snuggle and a book by the fire with dad, or making cookies with mom may be enough “special” for a day leading up to the big holiday. Older children like to help and want to show they’re capable, so give them holiday jobs to complete, such as decorating the family tree, and let them do it without interference. Then praise their wonderful contribution, no matter how crooked the star may be, or how many ornaments end up on just one side of the tree.

Shopping can be especially stressful for families. If you must go to the mall as a family, timing is crucial. Make sure everyone has plenty of sleep the night before, and that you pack plenty of healthy snacks for little ones. Don’t even think about going to the mall if it’s naptime. Expect to take breaks often, and don’t expect to get all your shopping done in one trip. Think about what it’s like to be in a crowd if you’re just three feet tall, or if you’re in a stroller, and plan accordingly.

Make it easy on yourself. Try online shopping, or give gift certificates, magazine subscriptions, meal services, or memberships to a museum or the science center. My favorite gifts to receive are “consumables” such as play tickets or tickets to a concert. Most people have enough “stuff,” and might welcome an experience to remember instead.

Each December holiday has a story at its core, and each story involves something that brings light to chase away the winter darkness. Whether you’re helping your child light the candles on the menorah, explaining about the star that led the wise men to Bethlehem, creating a kinara for Kwanzaa, or simply observing the winter solstice, remember that you, as parents, “light” the way for your family. You can choose how you want your family to celebrate, and what values you want to impart. Let your unique light shine this season.