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Many mothers are confused by the term "demand feeding" when applied to breastfeeding. Other mothers, whose schedules may not allow for the constant availability implied in the term "on demand" may feel unable to meet their baby's needs. I recently came across a better term for the baby's need to be nursed frequently-"feeding on cue." Somehow, the idea of a mother gently responding to her baby's cues seems more comfortable than "feeding on demand." Even a mother who must be separated from her baby can learn the cues and help caregivers recognize them too. What cues does a baby give when it needs to be nursed? Crying is the most obvious one, and it deserves an immediate response. A newborn may make sucking motions with its mouth as it roots for the breast. Rooting is a restless, whole-body searching motion, which stops when the baby is put to the breast. A baby having difficulty latching on will butt the breast with its head, or turn away in frustration. Then, the mother has to hold the breast for a newborn, or shape the nipple with her hand and guide it firmly into the baby's searching mouth. If the breast is engorged with milk, mother may have to hand express some milk into a washcloth or diaper first to make the nipple softer and easier to grasp. A caregiver who holds a baby in the nursing position may find him or her rooting purposefully toward her breast, trying to latch on. It could be feeding time, or it could be that baby's instinct to seek the comfort of the breast is very strong. It won't hurt to offer a feeding when the baby roots like this. At the very least, a restless baby needs to be held and soothed, even if a bottle isn't what he or she wants just then. Many mothers are surprised by the frequency of the baby's cues to nurse. If her baby doesn't conform to the three-to-four hour schedule she was told to expect, a mother may worry that something is wrong. Most newborns nurse more often than every three to four hours. In fact, some babies nurse every 20 minutes to two hours. The nursings may not be full meals each time. Sometimes a baby only needs a couple of minutes to settle down to sleep, or just the reassurance of mother's presence. With breastfeeding, there is no worry about overfeeding or finishing the last drop of expensive formula. A nursing baby will stop when he or she is ready, and there will always be enough milk for next time. If a mother responds promptly to her baby's cues, her body will produce milk according to her baby's unique schedule. Remember, the more often you nurse, the more milk there will be. In the first few months postpartum, the baby's need for his or her mother's presence is as intense as the need for food. Some new mothers may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of a baby's needs. That's when it really helps to become an expert on your baby-observing the baby's cues for a day or two, finding out what the needs are and how the baby signals you. Stepping back to find out your baby's unique pattern may make it seem more reasonable than following the dictum "feed on demand." Stop looking at the clock and look instead to your baby to tell you what he needs. His instincts tell him to "demand" mothering, and, as you learn to read his cues, you'll learn to be his mother. Nature provides the baby with the will to survive, and the mother with the means to ensure that. A newborn isn't demanding, he's just telling you to tune into his cues. He needs you, and you need him. Soon, responding to your baby's cues will be second nature to you. |
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