Healthy children, healthy bodies

You may feel you've heard plenty, thank you, about overweight children. (When was the last time you heard a report about the childhood obesity epidemic in the US-was it ten minutes ago, or as long ago as this morning?) But Kathy Kater, a psychotherapist who has treated people with eating disorders for 25 years, offers a refreshing approach to this national dilemma in Real Kids Come in All Sizes: 10 Essential Lessons to Build Your Child's Body Esteem (Broadway Books, ©2004). Having worked so much with people embroiled in the extreme endgame-eating disorders-of poor body image, she convincingly argues for helping our daughters and sons to appreciate the bodies they have before they reach puberty. She encourages parents to keep fashion magazines out of the house, to teach our children to decode the omnipresent media messages that she says ought to be labeled "Warning: Messages regarding the look to have and how to get it are myths that may be hazardous to your physical health and quality of life," and to talk to our children about the natural rounding out we can realistically expect to occur during puberty.

"It is natural and healthy for girls to add up to 20 percent of their body weight in fat at the time of puberty," she states. She includes sections on our bodies' genetic legacy ("What we eat and how much we exercise…definitely do influence our size. Even so, more influence comes from our genes."), body types, how our bodies regulate weight and hunger, and her most passionate argument: dieting does not work. "Dieting for weight loss, even with moderate food restriction, is not only ineffective, but frequently results in weight gain." Instead, Kater advocates for healthful eating and exercise.

Speaking of healthy body image and exercise, you can read about Molly Barker's innovative Girls on the Run (a national, non-profit organization which intertwines self-esteem lessons with training for a 5K run for girls grades 3 through 8) in her book Girls On Track: A Parent's Guide to Inspiring Our Daughters to Achieve a Lifetime of Self-Esteem and Respect (Ballantine Books, ©2004). While her enthusiasm is admirable, Barker's prose gets pretty purple. If you don't tolerate overwriting well, you may wish to pass on Barker's lengthy account of her struggle with alcoholism and her journey out the "Girl Box"-her overused metaphor for the societal pressures for conformity and narrowly-defined beauty that girls encounter. But don't skip this offering altogether, as the second half of the book generously gives us the Girls on the Run curriculum, complete with reproducible cards and activity charts. There's also great information on running and preparing yourself or your child for your first race.

Finally, there is Debra W. Hoffner's From Diapers to Dating: A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children-From Infancy to Middle School (Newmarket Press, ©2004). I wasn't sure the words "diapers" and "sexually" belonged in the same title-perhaps that's taking it a bit too far, I thought-but now that I've read Haffner's engaging, practical book, I see that indeed, they do. In sections divided by your child's age-infants and toddlers, the preschool years, early elementary school, and upper elementary school-she provides sound information and use-today advice. She advocates for evaluating (sooner rather than later) what your own family's sexual values are, so that when sexual questions or situations arise, you are prepared to respond. Instead of the "Big Talk," which she says comes much too late in most households, she gives tips for becoming an "askable parent" and looking for "teachable moments," so that we can address our children's healthy curiosity about sexuality as it naturally occurs in the course of regular life.