In a study by Pediatrics magazine, half of parents surveyed reported poor sleeping habits in their babies. While many people feel this is simply new-parent-territory, a continued lack of sleep can have profound, negative effects. Without proper sleep you have less ability to perform tasks that require high level thinking, such as driving a car-not a state you want to be in while caring for your infant.

    Lack of sleep also affects our moods, including higher incidences of depression. "Lack of sleep played havoc with my emotions," said Jamie. "I felt out of control and would weep if the slightest thing went wrong," She and her husband worked out a shared nighttime routine that allowed Jamie to get sufficient sleep. Within a few days, she felt more balanced.

    According to Eve Van Cauter, Professor of Medicine at the University of Chicago, consistently losing sleep can hasten age-related illnesses such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and memory loss. But while the problems associated with lack of sleep have been identified, there is less consensus on what to do about it. Several methods have been established; the key is to keep an open mind and find what works for you.

Crying-it-out

    Cole never did fall asleep easily. His mother would tiptoe out of the room, terrified the slightest squeak would startle him awake. By eight months, Cole was waking every hour and his tired mother decided she had to do something. "One day I realized how exhausted I was," says Cole's mother. "I couldn't sit down for even a moment, because if I did I would fall asleep. I was afraid I would never get a decent night's sleep again."

    Cole's mom decided to try the cry-it-out method. "It was difficult," she says, "I sat in the other room and sobbed." Nonetheless, after a couple of weeks it worked and Cole was sleeping...well...like a baby.

    The most well-known advocate of the cry-it-out method is Dr. Richard Ferber, head of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children's Hospital in Boston. Dr. Ferber recommends a calming, consistent bedtime routine and the use of a special transitional object your child can use for comfort. If your child cries when you leave the room, you can return to provide verbal comfort, but, according to Dr. Ferber, you shouldn't pick your baby up or linger at the bedside.

Close at hand

    Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, founder of the Child Development Unit at Boston Children's Hospital, recommends putting your baby in his crib while he is still awake and staying with him, reassuring him you're there, but allowing him to fall asleep by himself. "When my daughter was young," says Julie, "I started putting her down awake so she would be aware of the transition. By 10 months old, I was able to put her in her crib, say 'Go nite nite' and not hear another peep until 7 a.m."

The family bed

    Jeanie's daughters have always slept with her. "When my husband works, I sleep in their bed, but on the weekends they come in bed with their Dad and me. My daughters are going to grow up knowing they are loved and feeling secure. What else matters?" Sleep-sharing with your children is advocated by Dr. William Sears, a leading pediatrician and author of several popular parenting books. He stresses the importance of parent-child closeness in the form of attachment parenting. Dr. Sears maintains babies need to be parented to sleep, not put to sleep. He feels sleep should be a pleasant experience, not a mechanical procedure that is forced on a child.

Finding what works

    With my own son, I choose to lay beside him until he falls asleep. It can take him a little while to drift off, but I share some precious one-on-one moments with him during those times. When he nestles against me, resting his cheek on mine, I know he loves and trusts me like no one else. I have no doubt he'll eventually learn to fall asleep on his own. There will come a day when he'll be too "grown-up" to be tucked in. For now, I'll enjoy the privilege and won't regret a minute of the time.

    The bottom line is there is no one right answer. You have to choose what works best for you and your child. Follow your instincts and trust your intuition. The important thing isn't how your baby falls asleep; it's that you find a routine that satisfies everyone. Once that happens, you'll all sleep soundly.

Tips for a good night's sleep