Gender and the arts

I read parenting articles all the time looking for guidance on my parenting journey. But some of the best advice has come from my circle of “other parents”—the circle that eventually (it feels to me) becomes the six degrees of separation linking me and every parent in the Puget Sound region.

One day when my daughter was three, I had a conversation with my trusted “mentor” mom about gender. I wondered if, with the struggles I have had as an engineer—a woman in a traditionally male field, the world had changed enough that my daughter would have a level playing field. Her response struck me, “Girls have everything…every opportunity, full access. Boys do not!” she said. Like me, she has an older daughter and younger son. I instinctively knew she had a point.

Girls have every choice for athletics, thanks to Title IX, plus the full suite of arts and academics. There are science camps, science career conferences, and even math and science middle schools, geared towards, and exclusively for, girls. In elementary-age sports organizations, including baseball, soccer, and basketball, there are almost an equal number of boys and girls. There are no limits to the broad variety of sports for girls from swimming to rock climbing. But the same sports are offered for boys. So where does the inequity lie, I wondered?

The largest inequity may lie in the arts. While there actually are no barriers to the arts for boys, there remain many biases (starting with those held by parents) for boys to enter the arts. In a sea of pink tutus at the PNB school recital, how many boys are involved in dance, especially at younger ages? Even peers provide a level of bias away from arts for boys. While parents encourage our daughters into every level of activity no holds barred, we have not encouraged our sons into the arts, and yet the arts hold many promising careers and personal growth opportunities.

While over the centuries women had limited opportunity to participate in the arts, it was the men who excelled as great master artists, composers, actors, and dancers. More importantly, as activities go, the arts—visual and performing—provide a breadth of challenge, creativity, camaraderie and opportunities to succeed.

My son is very fortunate to have the opportunity to participate in the Northwest Boy Choir. His sense of self has grown, and he has immense pride to be part of something so powerful. He values the choir and works harder at it than at his schoolwork. These are the values I wish for him out of any activity. Thankfully, he is among school peers that don’t judge him. It is also a wonderful complement to piano lessons and his natural talent for math, which has proven to go hand in hand with musical talent. His confidence and ability to speak or perform with poise in front of a large crowd is a tribute to his choir experience.

While I’d love to think my son is unique—with a renaissance soul—he and his comrades are typical boys, hollering for a game of tag as they pour out of rehearsals. On the other hand, the instructors are special—warm, and compassionate with the younger kids while adding fun and challenge as the kids mature. The camaraderie afforded by such an intense, yet such a beautiful experience is also rewarding. Learning to support each other, while creating beautiful music is a life skill not unlike other team activities.

The benefits of early involvement in the arts multiply as these boys get older. The obvious fears of kids teasing or even bullying your son for belonging to arts organizations may have some foundation. But in talking with Jeff Dubois, Northwest Boy Choir alumni and member of the Board of Directors, there were definite benefits. As he grew older, having a classically trained voice made it easier to talk with girls—a nice side benefit. While participating in the choir may have conflicted with sports (Jeff also played baseball), Jeff acknowledges that participating in the choir was extremely beneficial to him. And although he participated in both, he acknowledges that the choir was, in many ways, very much like a “team.” Jeff notes that with the choir director as the quintessential “coach,” boys learned to support each other and also that hard work and commitment are rewarded with advancement and opportunity. Really, what more is there?

Next Monday while listening in at the water cooler, you might think the sons of your co-workers are only involved in sports, but remember there are a lot more organizations in the arts for boys than you might think. Surprisingly, those choices exist in environments that are both welcoming and challenging. If we choose to take advantage of these dynamic arts organizations we will find high quality and a sense of equity; however, the first bias we need to get past is likely our own.